Sunday, February 27, 2005
she's no longer tt sweet sis of mine.. she had changed into a diff person.. a totalli diff person.. wat she cares is her bf.. she dun even bother abt e' family.. she scold me becuz of her bf... n she thinks she's rite.. it's all jokes.. bt the thgs she said... it's like a knife had pierce into my heart.. i'm sooooo hurt.. i'm soooo angry... n u'll nv understand my feelins.. nv ever... tears flow.... she's no longer e' sis i noe... no longer.. she can even sae i'm petty.. i'm in e' wrong.. nt her... we tried to tell her wat's wrong.. bt nth seems to get into her head.. she's too stubborn to listen to all dis.. n she thinks tt she's always rite..
i feel sooo down recentli.. got sick.. slp e' whole dae.. didn touch on my project for 3 daes till juz.. onli managed to do some case studies.. argh... no mood at all... soo mani thgs stuck in my head... i need someone to tok 2.. bt i juz couldn find ani.. i wanna find someone to drink wif.. bt couldn find ani... alan is nt in s'pore... :'( if nt he'll always there for me... argh...
i'm sooo confused.. so so so confused... i hv e' feelin of cheatin ppl's feeling.. n i hate tt... :'( soo mani thgs happened in dis 2 daes.. n i realli dunno wat to do.. i realli feel like endin my life n there'll be no more troubles... nt at all... bt it's too selfish to do tt...
sharlyn called.. n i bluff her tt everithg is alrite for me.. i'm happi wif my life now.. well.. IT"S ALL NONSENSE... i'm nt alrite... once again.. to produce my wrk.. i stress myself... i force myself.. i abuse myself.....................................................................
i feel soooo stress up now.. stress wif studies.. stress wif relationship... stress wif... stress wif family... stesssss wifff everithg ard meeee.... n i had enough... realli had enough... y is there stress? y i gt stress so easily? cry is nt e' solution.. bt i cant help bt cry... i juz hv too much tears...
i'm strong.. m i? NOPE... i juz TRIED to be strong... i'm nt as strong as wat u think.. afterall.. i'm a girl.. i'm fragile..
i'm happi.. m i? NOPE... i smile.. i laugh.. physicalli happi bt nt emotionalli happi... bt sometimes.. my emotions overcome everithg.. where i realli cant smile n laugh.....
WAT"S WRONG WIF ME!! I HATE MY LIFE... I HATE EVERYTHING.....
~fernny~ i'm hurt by wat u guys had said.. maybe nt intentionally.. i didn sae anithg doesn mean i dun care.. it's all in my heart..
caught a falling star @ 1:48 AM